


Dwelling within Darkness

by MayLovelies



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Family, Friendship, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Reborn!Valinor AU, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-20 03:57:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8235268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayLovelies/pseuds/MayLovelies
Summary: When Eärendil takes to the woods one evening he travels rather far. Unsuspecting, he stumbles upon a path where a familiar face waits to greet him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, Earendil and Maeglin is a ship of mine, I love it so much.

Eärendil  had not yet ventured to the dark woods of Valinor upon his recent return.

He’d traversed to the lands far where the House of Orome resided, and for many days, the Mariner found himself pushing through the thick greenery with a small host of hunters by his side. Yet, those forests bore the sun, and an ever guiding light that ensured the safety of the travelers. Eärendil nor his company felt unsafe.

However, the same could not be said now.

Not when Eärendil had carelessly journeyed to such a dark, and desolate area of Aman.

For someone who had only resided around the brilliant enclosure of Tirion, and from there out, where his kin and the mighty Valar had instructed him, he’d never been exposed to such a dark grim place, for he had no idea that such a dark dwelling in Valinor existed.

Yet there he was. Too deep into the woods to turn back around, yet curious to even ponder on running to safety. The prince was up for a challenge that day, as he had been any other day in Valinor. The land itself offered many opportunities, yet as a royal it was easy for Eärendil to feel trapped, even with all that was handed to him. So such an adventure set before him, the Mariner would take, yet he’d be cautious. Darkness existed everywhere, even in Valinor evidently.

Eärendil took a few steps forward, falling deeper and deeper into the thick brush.

The scenery didn’t scare him as much as it did intrigue him. Yes murky shadows fell beneath the trees however, aside from that, nothing else seemed to catch his mind. No silent whispers in the woods, nor tapping amongst the wooden trunks. No birds of gloomy song, or beasts of dangerous intent.

It was not fear the Mariner felt in the woods, but a great amount of loneliness. Somewhat heavy pressing upon his soul. For all Eärendil felt, he was the only one who resided within these woods. And if anyone else resided with him, they were silent.

He continued his walk, his mind clearing with every step.

For some reason, in these woods, he didn’t ponder on pressing matters like he had many times before in loneliness. He had sense of ease about him that lightened with every move of his muscles, and every crack of a branch beneath his feet.

Eärendil was at peace for the most part, slightly unconcerned of where he was going at that moment.

However, his apprehension kicked in some time later, when the elf had realized he’d been travelling rather mindlessly for some time now through the brush. The sun neither rose nor set, so he had no idea what time it had been, yet he assumed hours had passed.

Between wandering aimlessly, and somewhat losing his sense of concentration, Eärendil feared there was a great amount of magic in these woods. Perhaps he’d wondered into the realm of a powerful, dark maia who resided away from the festivities and brilliance of their kin. Keeping a great distance from the activity of Valinor, they enchanted these woods to be dark and desolate.

If that was the case, which Eärendil feared, then he was no doubt lost. And to find his way, he’d perhaps have to find the one responsible for casting the spell.

This would certainly be troubling and could take days…even weeks…Eärendil began to feel foolish for not turning around. Perhaps this was a bad idea after all.

“Are you lost? When did you come?”

The clear voice cut through the ever heavy weight upon Eärendil’s chest. Yet, as overjoyed as he was to find a companion perhaps lost with him in the woods, he was just as cautious. He turned around, prepared to give a quick explanation with the hope that his visitor could help him find his way out of the woods, or find the one who cast the spell.

Yet, with the Mariner turned on his heal and faced the smaller elf before him, clad in a dark cloak, yet fully visible in the face, he paled.

Both of them paled. For this was no mere traveler, or a lost soul wondering aimlessly about the woods. No. This was the elf who haunted his dreams at night, from the day that Gondolin was destroyed to the very first evenings he spent in Valinor. This was no helper, no elf who could help him any more than Morgoth himself could.

With eyes opened wide, and fist balling slightly, Eärendil simply exclaimed, “Maeglin!?”

The dark elf, even more shocked than Eärendil, took a much needed step back as his younger cousin inched towards him.

“You are lost, are you not? These dark woods are mine and I have placed a spell upon them… I can lead you out—”

“Do not speak to me so lightly! Do not touch me!” Eärendil felt an overwhelming sense of anger reach over him when Maeglin attempted to grab at him.

“Eärendil! Calm down and please bear with me. You are lost I can help you find your way!” He kept his distance for only a short while. What prompted the dark elf to step forward and attempt to embrace his cousin, none knew, but Eärendil did not react well upon Maeglin’s touch.

He lunged at the elf in full force, certainly catching Maeglin by surprise.

His reflexed permitted him to move out of the way, but not before Eärendil struck him in the face. Maeglin fell and his young cousin came after him, bearing down upon him with fists of fire. The emotions he felt at that moment were unexplainable, as when he saw the pale face of his mother’s traitorous kin, he only remembered the destruction of his home, and the moment his mother was almost taken from him.

It was as if this forest conjured his fears and nightmares, but he had no problem ending them permanently.

Yet, as strong as he was, it slipped his mind that Maeglin was in fact a warrior, and easily did he unwind from underneath his cousin. He himself issued a very powerful blow, that nearly knocked the taller elf over, but Eärendil stood his ground.

He caught his vermin cousin attempting to run after he straightened himself, but Eärendil was quick to grab his arm. He pulled on Maeglin with such a force that his shoulder nearly twisted from his socket. The shorter elf bit back a shout as Eärendil pulled harder, turning him around, ready to strike once again.

However, Maeglin once again fought for the upper hand and succeeded.

Through a quick movement, it was Eärendil under Maeglin.

In fury, the dark elf pinned his young cousin down and snaked his pale hands around his neck. Without a second thought, he began to strangle him, glaring down with his dim eyes.

“ _Why won’t you all leave me be? Have I not paid enough!? Do you believe I wanted to destroy Gondolin!? It was my home too! They were my only family left!”_

If Eärendil could speak he would, however, his impending doom prevented him from doing so.

 _“I am sorry!”_ Maeglin’s expression began to falter, from the tight deamor of fury, to the light appearance of sorrow, and all too soon, he released his cousin, crawled off of him and sat away. His back facing his cousin, as Eärendil scrambled to his feet. “Kill me if you wish, it would be a blessing. You all will not let me forget, my sins will never fail me...Not even my mother longs to see me.”

“Then why did you do it?” When Eärendil regained his voice, he finally spoke, standing behind his cousin. Not yet ready to forgive, but no longer ready to attack. Something about his look, was haunting. “Why did you give out the location.”

Gasping, as if he was for the first time, glad someone would hear his side of the story, Maeglin stood and faced Eärendil. “For days on end, I knew nothing but torture from the Dark Lord and his subjects…I would not wish that pain and torment amongst my worst enemies. My mind was corrupted, my soul ruined, and my body _violated_ in ways I can not describe…I was no longer myself. Just a shell of a frightened elf…who wanted freedom. I did not wish to take your mother by force, or take her at all. Admire her I did, love her…perhaps, as she was the first elven women other than my mother I had seen, but not anymore…not anymore…” He trailed off, shaking his head in momentary confusion, as if trying to remember something he could not quite recall. “It _hurts…_ my head…my heart…the darkness has left, but the pain never does…I still ache…I still fear…alone in these woods I wait, praying that I will never be found…” He went off into his own speech, some of which Eärendil could not understand.

However, he hovered above his cousin now with a new perspective. He had not answers for all of his questions, but no one ever told Eärendil that Maeglin was tortured. He thought the elf proudly gave out the location of Gondolin, and consciously attempted to defile his mother. Torture and torment…did terrible things to the mind. Eärendil wondered if that was even Maeglin who had returned from his capture, perhaps not, it didn’t even seem like Maeglin was fully healed from his anguish.

“Then perhaps…we can explain this to the High King and his family…” Eärendil spoke. “That you were tortured and weak of mind. Many do not know; many do know think you fell victim to the Dark Lord’s deeds…”

“It will not make them see the story any differently.” Maeglin gazed upon his young cousin, slightly shocked at his turn about. “You truly do not see me as different…do you? I am still the same elf who attempted to kill you.”

“Before that day, you were always kind to me. I understand what war can do to a person, and I can imagine that torture makes it worse…I encountered some thralls of Morgoth…some we freed, some were never the same. Some took their own lives…some the lives of their kin. None could understand what they went through, none can understand what _you_ went through, but you cannot be held for full responsibility.”

And in all seriousness, Eärendil had a change of heart for his troubled cousin.

Perhaps a strain of guilt tugged at his chest. For one who had seen many freed thralls in his life, he only wished he knew the pain Maeglin went through before. But no one did…if anything, those in Gondolin seemed to ignore him when he returned from his torture. Eärendil wondered just how painful that was; for none to ask nor care. Eärendil and his soldiers had at least helped some freed thralls…Maeglin only had himself. And he still dealt with the pain.

“Let us go to the king…let us explain.” He extended a hand. “Let us explain to all, even my mother and yours…”

He took a step towards Maeglin but like earlier, he backed away.

“No Eärendil, I am not to return. But you, go forth now. I have lightened the magic upon the woods, you will find your way home now…go…leave me be, do not return.”

As impulsive as Eärendil was, he simply grabbed Maeglin. “Let us go, _now!_ ”  He knew that if he vouched for his cousin, then many would believe him. But the dark elf was ever resistant.

“I am banished from your home! Ordered to stay far away from Lord Turgon, and the Lady Idril…and her kin…why you have found me I do not know! I beg of you to release me!”

“I will not!”

The solution resolved itself rather fast.

Maeglin simply released himself and turned away. “Leave me be.” He responded again.

“I cannot when I hold the truth, please, come.”

Maeglin as he did in the past, remained silent even as his cousin followed behind him.

“If you will not come with me now, then allow me to change your mind, or at least attempt to. Let me stay in your dwelling for a night and a day, and I will leave then if your mind is not changed.”

Maeglin continued his strides deeper into the dim lit forest. Eärendil continued to follow him, taking his silence as a “yes”, as he always had.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who commented on, read and left kudos on the first chapter. This is one of the first multi-chaptered fics I’ve decided to press on with. So I hope this goes well~ and lol, thank you to everyone who ships this odd ship with me.  
> And just a forewarning, this chapter touches up on the whole Elwing and Earendil discussion , I had this chapter planned for some time tbh . I am not fond of the decisions they made and that will somewhat be reflected in this chapter. That said, if you disagree, please don't use my comment section as a means to argue with me or change my opinion on the subject. Please don't.  
> and this isn't speaking to anyone specific, just everyone in general.   
> Also! Don't forget to read the end notes! I cover this a bit more.  
> Also, I do have a tumblr it's [maylovely](http://maylovely.tumblr.com/)

 

“I must say,” Eärendil began, stepping over the threshold of a rather medium sized, dark wooden home. “it is truly nice, this place.”

Maeglin, who now stepped out of his boots from the other side of the living room, cast an annoyed look over his shoulder. He was not up for his cousin’s sarcasm, nor his cousin’s presence it seemed like, as he hadn’t spoken to him since their long trek through the shadowed woods. Though the dark elf’s silence could be telling of multiple things, he simply wasn’t good with words.

“If in fact you do plan to stay, then allow me to take you to a spare room I have.” Maeglin called from his spot. By now, he had removed his cloak, revealing a faded blouse and a pair dingy trousers. By simply looking at him, it was unbelievable that he was once a prince, though Eärendil supposed that his cousin had abandoned that title for good reason.

“Come, let me show you.”

In silence, the two made way down a rather steep corridor just upstairs from the living room. The lack of light seemed to affect Eärendil’s view more when he arrived upstairs, and he for a second pondered on asking Maeglin if he could light a candle, but decided against it. He followed after his cousin until he led him into a room near the end of the hallway.

Maeglin reached for the door handle and twisted it, allowing Eärendil entrance.

Surprisingly, the dim light of day from outside shone through the foggy window. The room, though not bright, was illuminated somewhat. Eärendil observed his temporary living quarters; he couldn’t quite remember when the last time was he’d stay in a place this small.

There was a bed (he’d hope can fit a creature of his size), a window, and an empty books shelf across from the bed. Eärendil got a perfect view of the forest, though that wasn’t very magnificent. Maeglin’s woods weren’t nearly as breathtaking as Lord Orome’s.

“Thank you, I suppose I shall make myself at home…” He turned towards the door to see that Maeglin no longer stood watch. Rolling his eyes, Eärendil stalked back down the corridor in search of his cousin. This was yet another thing he remembered from their time in Gondolin. Maeglin had a habit of vanishing when he felt he was not needed anymore. Though where he went was a mystery, at least now, Eärendil could somewhat narrow it down.

The mariner took to the living room where, to his surprise, Maeglin was not there. Growing slightly anxious, Eärendil continued his strides through the living room then to what he assumed was the kitchen (slightly smaller than he expected), yet, Maeglin was nowhere in sight. He had vanished into thin air.

Eärendil would have broken into panic had he not heard the familiar sound of a hammer upon metal.

 

He looked on ahead, from a window in the cramped kitchen, at a small shed not too far away. Within it a dim light glowed in resonance with the pounding mallet upon metal. It didn’t take long for the mariner to make his way to the forge, with his large figure leaned over Maeglin, observing his craft as he did when he was younger.

He heard Maeglin sigh in annoyance, and took that as a cue to step back.

“What is it you need Eärendil?” Maeglin, his back still turned asked rather darkly.

“I have grown accustomed to my room and the house somewhat. As my host, I think it’s rude for you to wander off, therefore, I have come looking for you.”

“And..?”

“I wish to talk. Mind you, my reason for coming here was to convince you to return to our king  and that I shall attempt to do.” There were a few chairs about the forge, scattered and placed in any order.

“Let us sit and speak.” Eärendil mused.

“Speak of what?” Maeglin’s arm, near seconds from ramming the hammer into the molten magma, was stopped by Eärendil, who held his shorter cousin’s wrist.

“Of anything for now.  But I wish to have all your attention if that is not too much to ask.”

When he was younger, Eärendil would have feared the vile glare Maeglin cast his way, but he simply smiled in amusement. And sensing his non-verbal threat did him no good, Maeglin placed the hammer upon the ledge of the forge and submitted to the annoying will of his kin.

He sat, and Eärendil sat down with him.

Both remained in silence for some time, until Maeglin actually spoke first.

“I remember you to be mortal, I suppose that has changed—given all you have done, it is not surprising. You are one of the favored of the Valar after all. Such a gift is a gracious reward.”

Eärendil smirked. “A gift you say? With reluctance I accepted it, but had I the chance to return it, then I would so fast.”

Maeglin seemed puzzled at such a statement, furrowing an eyebrow in astonishment. “Did you not desire the fate of the first born?”

“Ahh, you could tell.” The mariner responded in sarcasm.

“Then why choose such a fate? Not many would be so lucky to have such a privilege bestowed upon them; many would gladly take your fate.” His tone, previously confound edged, now towards slight anger, or annoyance.

Eärendil at that moment could not understand why.

“It was not a choice I made with my full heart and mind, for it was Elwing, who influenced my decision. Yet it is no fault of hers however, the fault is mine.  And I greatly regret the decision.”

The dark elf before him placed a hand on his own head, recalling some sort of thought of memory. He perked up suddenly at the realization.

“Lady Elwing, my kin? Cousin to my father?” Maeglin muttered. “I have not met her, nor my Sindar family, but I heard that you two were joined in union. Lady Elwing, is your wife then?”

“Was.” Eärendil corrected, sighing rather slightly. “We severed our bonds upon the calm of things; after recent events we were not right for one another, I feel.”

“Do you care to elaborate?” Maeglin continued on, shifting in his chair. “In my woods I reside, unaware of most that happens in the outside world—nothing exciting graces my dark dwelling though I do not care for much of it. Yet, I am curious and eager to understand your reasoning, and why you feel such a way.”

Eärendil stared deeply into Maeglin’s dark eyes as if trying to sense any ulterior motive. Though it did not surprise him that his cousin was simply curious of his life from the time of his death, to that moment now. He had only seen him last when he was a young child; the stories of his marriage and later his chosen fate had never been spoken in clarity to Maeglin. Perhaps all he knew in detail was of the War of Wrath, and that is all.

“If you are uncomfortable then I can under—”

“When I left upon my voyage, I left our kingdom in her care, as well as our sons. I curse myself every day for leaving them behind, but I had a journey that I had to complete. In her possession, she held a Silmaril—living with your mother, I believe you know what that is?”

“She would never cease to talk about its greatness—nor, the greatness of the ones who sought after it.” Maeglin spoke, prompting Eärendil to continue.

“Then of the oath, I assume you know. And I also assume you can foresee where this story is going.” The Mariner took a heavy breath, as if the words he would speak next brought him great pain, but he carried on nonetheless. “It was not just her mistake, but mine. Never should I have entrusted her to watch and care for our people as a noble, selfless leader would. Once, the owners of their jewel asked for its return with kindness, and Elwing refused. They warned that they would come if she did not return it, yet she declined. And do not get me wrong, for why she declined, I try to understand why—yet, why she did not evacuate, I do not know. The elves feared the clutches of Morgoth, but Elwing let them remain like livestock to the slaughter, not warning one nor any of their impending doom, though she knew it well. And when the time came, that the owners returned for their jewel, and demanded it back for the safety of our people, she bore the jewel to her chest and ran for her life. In the wake of the destruction of the innocent, Elwing saved herself for the jewel and in the process, forsook our sons and the refugees.”

Maeglin, not quite sure how to respond, simply nodded for his cousin to continue on.

“It is a fault I bear as well. For while my distaste for her only solidified after the fact, I too was absent from the destruction. Elwing feared what she did not understand, and what she did not realize from her sheltered life in Doriath. Unknowingly, she was selfish in her own freedom. For her people nor her sons she cared for, only the jewel and her life. But I say again, had I been there, I would have taken control. As high as her merit, Elwing was not capable of making decisions that required the lives of others to consider. That includes the lives of our sons.”

“Perhaps she did not know….no….perhaps she did not expect the troubles that were to come. Sheltered you say? If one has never seen the terror of the battle field, then one will not know how to react when warriors stand at her door. Lady Elwing was not made to rule what darkness had already touched, fate played a hand in that. Strength was not hers that day; perhaps if you had stayed, then things would have been different. I do not doubt you would have made things right, and in your own humbleness surrendered the jewel for the safety of your people however…if a destiny has been chosen then little can be done to fix it.” Maeglin spoke from experience, and Eärendil could tell. It was no secret to him that both his father, and Morgoth had cursed his destiny and his life. He too was trapped in a never ending cycle until death freed him.

“I understand.” Eärendil sighed. “But…those people…their screams…my sons…” He chuckled at the mention of his sons and simply shook his head. “Between they, I and their mother, there is nothing to discuss. No love is there nor will there ever be...one of my sons has…”

“The past, cannot be changed. Nor what was cursed or set in stone, be lifted or reforged. Years have passed since the incident and I believe you must let it go. Happiness cannot be sought with the pain of that which you had no control over.” The dark elf sighed, as if annoyed that the day had turned out like this. All of a sudden, Maeglin regretted his curiosity. This is what he got for attempting civil conversation for the first time in centuries. 

Yet still, he saw the puzzled look on his cousin’s face and assumed that this conversation tugged a nerve. It pained him, to see such a light hearted Eärendil compromised with such a weight upon his heart. Truly this was the darkness that he carried, and not even his cheerfulness that evening could bring him any solace. Maeglin wondered if he regretted telling this much.

“The death of your people is unfortunate…but the map of our lives is already set. There was nothing you could have done, for you were not there. Do not ponder on what cannot be fixed.” Maeglin stood and trailed back over to his forge where out of instinct, he took hold of the hammer and began to work again.

Meanwhile, Eärendil remained still and silent.

The topic of Sirion and the loss of his sons aggravated him to no end. Why he had spoken of it again, he did not know, well he did; he only wished that the conversation had not veered such a way. How shameful it was that he was in such a state of guilt and unrest. Yet, this haunted him for so many years, and even more so it pained him that no one truly understood how he felt. Up until now that was.

How refreshing it was to have someone who listened and gave him advice, rather than invalidating his emotions.

“Remember this Eärendil; you are a selfless elf. Each death must hurt you in ways I will never know. I understand why you broke your bonds with your wife, and none have the right to chastise you for your decision. Yet, while the darkness you feel is no doubt justified, I warn you not to let it darken your heart.”

Silence resonated throughout the room after that, save for Maeglin’s forge work.

Eärendil remained in his chair, his eyes closed, deep in thought. Maeglin had told him a lot, and every word he understood. Such wisdom his cousin held as he was not aware of until now, but he was every grateful for it.

For years the pain and guilt weighed upon his heart he finally felt he had permission to let go. With every breath he took, he felt lighter and lighter until he opened his eyes again. He knew not if it was a spell cast upon him, or if Maeglin’s words held the power he needed to forgive himself, but he did. And never did he wish to dwell on the subject any longer. And he assumed that Maeglin, despite his character, wished to speak of happier things as well.

Eärendil stood and walked around the forge, making his way towards shelves and desks filled with many of Maeglin’s works and crafts.

“Do you ever take your work to the market? Into town perhaps to sell?”

“I haven’t left these woods in hundreds of years. I keep my crafts here to amuse me. If an elf of any kind stumbles upon my dwelling and wishes to purchase my works, then I allow them.”

“That much I figured.” Eärendil frowned, quite saddened by Maeglin’s seemingly wasted potential. He wondered just how well known Maeglin could have been if he had stepped out of his comfort zone.

Well, Eärendil supposed that’s what he was there for. To give him the push and hope to resurface once again. Perhaps, after his redemption in Tirion, selling his crafts would be the next step. Well, only time could tell.

“In some time from now, I will make dinner. If you wish to speak more then, that is fine, but now I would like silence, as I need to focus.”

“May I remain here with you?”

“If you can remain silent.”

As snarky as his request was, Eärendil rolled his eyes and did as he was told.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, Maeglin will open up a little bit more but not too much. 
> 
> Also, like I said, this was just my opinion on the whole thing with Sirion, and how I thought it weighed down upon Eärendil. I think he felt extremely guilty for it, and perhaps wished he could go back in time and fix it. The happiest people hurt the most, and I think this is something Eärendil carries upon his shoulder.  
> And to elaborate more... I understand we all have opinions and comments on the character choices made during that time, but this reflects how I see it. That said, no opinion is right or wrong, and I don’t want to make anyone feel attacked nor do I want to get attacked. If my opinion on the whole Elwing/Earendil debate isn’t pleasing to you I’m sorry…but it’s just fiction and a story, and I am pretty sure you have your opinions too and that’s good! Diversity is good~, please just don’t try to debate my opinion, or argue with me (or anyone else), on my view of the situation…my comment section isn’t to be used for discourse or to argue an opinion, if that makes any sense, so please don’t do that.  
> Also, on Maeglin, I do think he has a great amount of wisdom to him. After his time in Gondolin, with Turgon, I think he learned a lot. And now, being in the woods for 100+ years in solitude and on his own, he has a lot of wisdom and help to give. Maeglin is warming up to Earendil, seeing as he is the only person who he formerly knew, who came into the woods as a friend. He doesn’t trust him but senses no evil from him.  
> But lol, when other people pop up we’ll se a different Maeglin~ ALSO, I made the connections that Maegs and Elwing are related by Thingol. Eol and Thingol are related (they are mentioned as old kin), therefore Maeglin and Elwing are as well. Idk, he’s never met her and I don’t think he ever would, but that is interesting (or maybe he DID meet her…idk..? perhaps he could have lol…the times are all mixed up)…  
> Okay, hope you all enjoyed!  
> Have a nice weekend!  
> And just a reminder, my tumblr [maylovely](http://maylovely.tumblr.com/), in case you wanna be friends!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Maeglin is my favorite Silm character, so I want to start writing a lot more fics for him.


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